Koetjes en kalfjes

808 reacties

koeienborrel

Koetjes en kalfjes
„Hé hallo hoe gaat het nu met je?” riep een kennis mij een keer toe middenin mijn scheidingsperiode toen we allebei bij de kassa van de supermarkt stonden. Ik bij kassa 1 en zij bij kassa 3 welteverstaan. „Goed hoor” loog ik “En met jou dan?” vroeg ik als afleidingsmanoeuvre. Het antwoord zal ook wel positief zijn geweest want zo gaat dat bij zulke supermarktconversaties.
Wat nou als ik door de supermarkt had geroepen dat het kut ging met me; dat ik ’s nachts huilend wakker werd en dat ik me verschrikkelijk eenzaam voelde? Wat dan?
Ik ben ervan overtuigd dat bij meer dan de helft van de keren dat mensen elkaar vragen hoe het gaat, ze eigenlijk alleen rekening houden met een positief antwoord. Of in ieder geval een neutraal antwoord. Het zijn van die nietszeggende gesprekjes waar ik helemaal niks mee kan. Ik word er zelfs zenuwachtig van. Ik ben geen koetjes-kalfjes-persoon. Regelmatig kom ik op straat, of ergens anders, iemand tegen waarbij het niet duidelijk is of er alleen maar gegroet gaat worden of dat er ook stilstaand een gesprekje gevoerd dient te worden. Vaak besef ik me pas later, als ik na een allerhartelijkst “Haaaai” doorgelopen ben, dat het misschien best aardig van me zou zijn geweest om diegene even te vragen hoe het nu met haar zoon gaat op de nieuwe school. Het is geen desinteresse van mij maar ik ben er gewoon niet zo goed in. Ik ben geen chit-chatter. Nooit geweest. Misschien kan ik me ook gewoon niet voorstellen dat er ook maar íemand zit te wachten op mijn koeien en kalveren. Zo schepte ik vroeger ook nooit op over mijn kinderen. Ik deelde de eerste tandjes, stapjes en woordjes niet op verjaardagen of tijdens de koffiepauze op mijn werk. Ik was (ben!) echt wel een hele trotse moeder maar draag dat niet te pas en te onpas uit. Oók niet als mensen me vragen hoe het met de meiden gaat. Misschien uit angst „niet interessant genoeg” te zijn?
Het stomme is dat ik echt heus wel een prater ben. Ik hou van mooie gesprekken. Van gesprekken waarin ruimte is om elkaars mening te horen en om dingen van verschillende kanten te benaderen. En daar dan weer over te bomen. Héérlijk! Geen lastig onderwerp ga ik uit de weg. In dit soort gesprekken ben ik ook heel open; neem geen blad voor de mond en ben oprecht geïnteresseerd in de ander.Eigenlijk gaat alles dan vanzelf.

In tegenstelling tot de ‘hallo-hoe-gaat-het-met-jou-met-mij-gaat-het-goed-gesprekjes’ dus.
Soms ben ik wel eens jaloers op die gezellige babbelkousen die altijd wel een leuk en gezellig verhaaltje hebben. En die dat kunnen brengen met een soort van natuurlijke naïviteit die ik best sexy en charmant vind. Niet te verwarren met van die vrouwen die vooral kletsen-om-het-kletsen zonder bij de ander te checken of het onderwerp wel aanslaat. Ik verbaas me dan ook écht dat deze vrouwen ellenlang kunnen uitweiden over de zus van een collega en daar de kinderen van zonder te beseffen dat haar publiek allang is afgehaakt.

Nu ik er zo over denk is dat laatste misschien wel mijn punt. Misschien is de angst om niet echt interessant gevonden te worden wel de reden dat ik niet graag over míjn koetjes en kalfjes praat.
Hier zit ook een tegenstrijdigheid want zó belangrijk vind ik het niet om interessant gevonden te worden. Misschien is interessant niet het goede woord. Onderhoudend of Boeiend dekt beter de lading.

Maar vertel eens, hoe gaat het met jou?

808 gedachten over “Koetjes en kalfjes”

  1. Sacha

    Het gaat heel goed met mij, met jou ook! Gut, moet je horen de zus van mijn buurvrouw heeft een kleinzoon en die kan al lopen! Gisteren brak ik een nagel en heb je het al gehoord? Tina Turner is 75 jaar geworden! Mooie benen heeft dat mens he. Wat eet jij vanavond? Ik eet macaroni, lust jij dat niet? Oh ik wel hoor hééééérlijk, met geraspte kaas. Hoe is het met je moeder? Die van mij gaat goed hoor! Oh die van jou niet, vervelend. Ik heb toch zulke prachtige bloemen gekocht laatst, echt wat voor jou. Of hou jij liever van planten? Ben je niet lekker…..je ziet zo wit…

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  2. maaike gritter

    oooh #herkenbaar
    ik heb dat ook als ik in bijvoorbeeld de Xenos loop en ik zie een “bekende”…. moet ik groeten of niet? Ze kijkt niet naar mij. Heeft ze me niet gezien? Zou ze me niet herkennen? Nou ja ik herken en zie haar toch ook? Ik loop wel de andere kant op, straks wil ze een praatje en weet ik weer niks te zeggen….

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      1. Sanderijn

        Oh ja, angst om niet herkend te worden heb ik heel erg! Ik loop graag een blokje om….
        Gelukkig ben je wel interessant, en boeiend en onderhoudend, genoeg Barbara, want ik lees hier graag van je. Maar ook ik ben geen ster in de koetjes en kalfjes gesprekken. Vooral omdat ik wat snel de neiging heb de diepte in te gaan, en dat is bij de supermarkt helemaal niet handig.
        Wel leuk trouwens als andere mensen zich van die conventie niets aantrekken en hele luide gesprekken voeren in de rij van de kassa. Over hoe ze vast zaten en nu met mattie 1 tijdens het uitgaan mattie 2 hadden uitgedaagd met een mes. Ja ja, fijn buurt 😉

        Met mij gaat het goed trouwens, gewoon echt goed!

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  3. Maya Hofstra

    Ik kom in groepsverband slecht uit de verf. Een quasi ontspannen nieuwjaarsborrel, een receptie waar je bijna niemand kent. Willen uitstralen dat je je best op je gemak voelt , losjes, praatje hier, praatje daar. Bekaf raak ik van mijzelf, eenmaal thuis met hoofdpijn op de bank. Soms overspoelt mij dan ook nog een gevoel van eenzaamheid. Hoor ik eigenlijk wel ergens bij?
    Een op een kan ik fijne en hartelijke contacten onderhouden, die geen energie kosten. Mensen waar ik naar uitkijk en oprechte belangstelling voor voel.
    Maar o, die opgelegde gezellige bijeenkomsten…wegblijven is helaas niet altijd een optie.

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  5. Annagreet

    Zó herkenbaar. Ik zal ook vast heel asociaal overkomen, maar het is echt niet dat ik me er te goed voor voel. Ik kom nu eenmaal nooit verder dan het weer. Koud, hè… Ja, best wel. Nou. Poeh. Is wennen hè? Tja. Maar toch. Echt fris. Ja. Nou! -zwijg-

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  6. Evelyn

    Nou, het kon beter maar laat ik daar nu maar niet over beginnen want daar hebben we nu allebei geen tijd voor. 😉

    Het ergste wat ik ooit meemaakte in deze context was, dat toen het echt niet goed met mij ging (en inderdaad, ik net vers gescheiden was en net een beetje gewend in mijn nieuwe baan destijds) een collega binnen kwam op het werk en heel druk in woord en gebaar was en ook en passant vroeg hoe het met mij ging, en ik antwoordde: “Nou, klote eerlijk gezegd. ” En dat zij toen zei: “Mooi! Houden zo!”
    Ik kon niet geloven wat ik hoorde. Mensen zijn vak echt alleen met zichzelf bezig.
    🙁

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  7. Readkapke

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